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"In every shitstorm, there's a spot where you can stand strong and see clear—that's what Beautiful Chaos is all about." — Andrea

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Welcome to Chaos

May 01, 20244 min read

"Embrace the chaos, celebrate the moments, and let's find the beauty in every piece of our beautifully messy lives." — Andrea

Hey hey, CollectHers—confidence collectors, that’s who we are! As Confidence CollectHers, we actively gather self-assurance and positivity, embracing all aspects of life's journey. We seek out experiences that build confidence, learn from challenges, and celebrate both the highs and the lows.

Here we go!

Welcome to the unfiltered journey of the "Beautiful Chaos" blog. I'm Andrea, and I'm here to share the full spectrum of my life: the good, the bad, and those "what the heck" moments that define us all.

A Little Bit About Me

For over 20 years, I've journeyed as a wife and a mom to three incredible kids—my oldest son is 21, and my daughters keep life buzzing at 17 and 14. It's been an emotional rollercoaster, filled with experiences I never could have anticipated, especially my personal struggles with OCD, Bipolar II, insomnia, and fibromyalgia. My childhood, seemingly ordinary, has left deep shadows in my life, shadows tinted by trauma—a word I use with hesitation. It’s a stark reminder that we all carry our own burdens, some visibly heavier than others. These traumatic experiences have not only scarred my memory but also significantly diminished it, leaving me with little recall of past events.

Early Days and Family Dynamics

In the early days, it was mostly just my mom and me. My parents split when I was around three, and memories of my dad in our home are non-existent. He was only around when I got mad at my mom and stayed with him for a few days—only to find myself missing my mom soon after. Other than those brief stints, he was pretty much absent from my life. My mom eventually found someone who became the "dad" figure I never realized I had until it was too late. We lost Larry in 2020, and his passing hit us hard. It made me reflect on the tremendous impact he had on my life and that of my kids, an impact I never fully acknowledged until he was gone.

I always struggled with feeling unwanted by my biological father, wondering what was wrong with me that he didn't want to be part of my life. The few times I saw him were occasionally at the bar for birthdays or at Christmas, but those moments were fleeting. We'll dive deeper into this part of my story later.

Family Ties and Mental Health

Among my many siblings—both half and full—I share a close bond with one of my full sisters, with whom I can openly discuss our mental health challenges. However, mental health remains a largely taboo topic in our family, rarely discussed beyond the two of us. Adding to the complexity, another one of my sisters has stopped communicating with me, and I'm left without understanding why.

A Turning Point

"I GIVE UP! I have tried everything to make me feel like a person again and I've failed!" That was me, breaking down on a FB Live in January 2020. I had just gone through a mental breakdown, and I felt like I would never be “NORMAL” again! The overthinking and the worry were constant. Worse yet, I felt like a failure to my family because I wasn’t contributing financially. Nothing was clicking for me!

Then, after years of therapy and working on myself, I learned to SHIFT MY MINDSET from a focus on failure to a focus on progress and growth. I recognized that setbacks are a normal part of the process and that it takes time and consistency to make changes. Instead of giving into the urge to stay in bed, I make a conscious effort to get up, get ready for the day, and act towards my goals. I FLIPPED THE SCRIPT!

Taking the Leap

I’m nervous as hell to share some of this with you, but here we go! This blog is my heart laid bare. I’m writing to connect, to comfort, and maybe to inspire at least one person out there. If I can light up a path or crack a smile through the chaos of your day, then I’ve done something right. I’m not just here to talk; I’m here to listen and to build a community where we all collect a little more confidence day by day.

So, stick around, dive into the chaos, and let’s find the beauty and laughter in it together. Remember, no matter the shitstorm, there’s always a rainbow waiting to shine through. Let’s find it!!

Press Play to Watch ⬇️​​​


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Andrea Knapp

Hello, I'm Andrea. Beyond being a wife, mother, daughter, and friend, I am a survivor of mental wellness challenges that once seemed insurmountable. My journey through fear, self-doubt, and a huge misbelief about my own nature has been both a battle and a revelation. The fear was real, intense, and at times, paralyzing—I worried about judgment to an extreme, haunted by thoughts that felt alien yet overpowering. For too long, I believed I was not a good person. But through time, support, and a lot of inner work, I've come to not just believe but know that I am far from the negative thoughts that once consumed me. The power of the mind, the weight of words, and the strength found in facing our darkest fears cannot be understated. My journey has been one of deep introspection, learning, and ultimately, taking back control from the shadows of diagnosis that loomed large over my life. Finding my purpose has been transformative. Today, I stand before you, not just as Andrea, but as a voice for mental health, an advocate for hope, and a living testament to the possibility of better days. My experiences with suicidal ideation, self-harm, and emotional turmoil are chapters of my past that have shaped but do not define me. I've risen from a place where I felt utterly lost, to a state of gratitude and genuine happiness that once seemed unattainable. Medications, natural remedies, and a commitment to self-love and healing have been integral to my journey. While the path to wellness is unique for everyone, and I don't know what the future holds, I stand firm in my belief and determination to continue this fight, not just for myself but for anyone who feels lost in the darkness. If you're struggling, know that you're not alone. I've walked through the storm and seen the other side, and I'm here to tell you: It can get better. It can even become great. Never give up on yourself. Your happiness matters, your story matters, and most importantly, you matter. Love yourself, embrace your journey, and remember, we're in this together.

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The Collective Community

Our Facebook community, where the magic of transformation happens one confident step at a time. Here at the Beautiful Chaos Collective, we’re not just about finding solutions; we’re about creating revolutions in our lives. This is a space designed for overthinking ladies who are ready to break the cycle of mental exhaustion and step into a world of empowerment.

Our Mission:

We show the overthinking lady how to act in confidence so she can stop the mental exhaustion and elevate mind, body, and money.

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Positive Affirmations: Learn how to craft and use affirmations to shift your mindset from self-doubt to self-assurance.

The Power of Positive Thinking: Tips and discussions on maintaining a positive outlook to overcome life’s challenges and attract more joy.

Journaling for Growth: Guidance on using journaling to explore your thoughts, track your progress, and celebrate your victories.

Cultivating Gratitude: Techniques for integrating gratitude into your daily routine to enhance overall happiness and satisfaction.

Strategic Planning: Practical advice on planning your days and setting goals that align with your aspirations, while you to manage time efficiently.

Join Us:

If you’re ready to turn your doubts into decisions and your fears into triumphs, this is the place for you. Dive into discussions, share your stories, and discover how to harness the power of your thoughts to create a life you love.

Our journey together will transform the way you think about yourself, your capabilities, and your potential. Let’s embark on this path of growth and discovery together, finding joy and fulfillment in every step we take.

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HELLO

I'm ANDREA!

Hello, I'm Andrea, a survivor of mental wellness challenges that once seemed impossible while being a wife, mother, daughter, and friend.

The journey through fear, self-doubt, and having a massive misbelief about my nature has been both a battle and a revelation. The fear was REAL, intense, and, at times, paralyzing—Talk about feeling worried about judgment, haunted by thoughts that felt foreign yet overpowering.

I felt I was not a good person for too long, and I actually believed it! But through time, support, and a lot of inner work, I've come to not just think but know that I am far from the negative thoughts that once consumed me. 

What I learned is the power of the mind, the weight of words, and the strength found in facing our darkest fears are not an understatement. My path to confidence has been a journey of deep self-reflection, learning, and ultimately, taking back control over the shadows of my diagnosis that loomed primarily over my life.

Embracing my purpose has genuinely transformed my life. Standing here today, I'm not just Andrea—I'm a fierce advocate for mental health, a beacon of hope, and living proof that better days are fucking possible. The intrusive OCD thoughts that once haunted me, scaring me into believing they were real, are just chapters in my story. Alongside battles with suicidal ideation, self-harm, and overwhelming emotional chaos, these experiences have molded me, but damn sure don't define me. From feeling completely lost to living in a state of gratitude and joy that seemed utterly out of reach—I'm here to tell you it's real and achievable.

My Mission?

I show the overthinking woman how to act in confidence so she can stop the mental exhaustion and elevate mind, body, and money.

Hear It from the Hearts We've Touched

Don't just take it from me, take a peek at what these fabulous souls have to say! Each testimonial is a story of transformation, a testament to what happens when you dare to ditch the doubts and lean into your own power. From overcoming the whirlwinds of overthinking to strutting their stuff with newfound confidence, these women are rocking their journeys, and they have some unfiltered truths to share. Read on to see how we’re rewriting the script, one fabulous woman at a time. Your next chapter could be just as revolutionary!

CONTACT

Ready to kick some ass and take your comfort and confidence to the next level? Let's find out if we're a match made in heaven. Just shoot me your details below and I’ll be in touch faster than you can say “Hell yes!” We’ll set up a time to chat about all the badass ways I can help you or your squad shine. Bring on the questions, bring on the goals—let’s do this!

© Copyright 2024 Andrea Knapp